Now that Fall has officially commenced, we’re all beginning to think about the holidays. In the days to come, we get to dress up, chow down with family, and buy gifts for the people we love most. For most, this is a joyous time to celebrate with family and friends. However, if you’ve gotten a divorce this year, the holidays might feel more dreadful that joyful. But, especially if you have children, the holidays are not the time to wallow. Instead you have to find ways to survive holidays and come out grinning. So, we’ve come up with a few ways to help you do that.
How-to: Survive Holidays after a Year of Divorce
Spend time with supportive family
After a year of divorce proceedings and tough times, you’ll want the people you hold near and dear to be close to you. So, make that your goal. It can be quite tempting to withdraw, focus on the negative, and be reserved. But, if you refuse to do that, and instead be with people who make you happy? I promise you’ll feel much better than you would have if you stayed in bed watching Lifetime movies. Make it a goal this holiday season to find your support system, and connect with those people. This time can be extremely lonely, but surrounding yourself with good people can eliminate that problem altogether.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
One of the most important things you can do to help yourself survive holidays after divorce, is to take the appropriate time to grieve. Sure, we said to get out there and surround yourself with good people. But, it’s important that you take the time to feel that loss and sadness first. Every person experiences loss and grief in different ways. Therefore, whatever it means for you to take time to grief, do that. Talk to friends, a therapist, take a trip— heal in your own way. By taking this step, you’ll feel more refreshed and ready for the holidays and the inevitable questions.
Identify Your Triggers
Triggers are going to be things that bring up unwanted emotions, or feelings. By taking the time to identify them, you can take steps to avoid them. For example, if you find that drinking brings about those mournful feelings, and leads to your feeling lonely and sad— consider taking a break from this. You want to be able to enjoy the holidays, and traditions of your family, without having to focus in on the negatives parts of your past year.
There’s no denying that the holidays following a divorce can be a difficult time of year. In a time that celebrates family, togetherness, and a new chapter— you’re just learning how to be single once again, and live life differently. While there is no escaping the difficulty of this period, there is also a certain relief you might feel at the prospect of a new year. You have new opportunities, a new chapter to take on, and people around you that will still be there for it. We wish you luck in this new time, and offer our condolences for your divorce.
