When a couple decides to separate, many people around them will assume the next step is divorce. Before you go suggesting divorce, however, you should know that this isn’t always true. In fact, reconciling post-separation is indeed possible for couples. Of course, reconciliation will require each spouse to work on some things…
Reconciling Post-Separation: Avoiding Mistakes
Consider what you say
Choosing your words carefully is a key part of reconciling post-separation. During this time, your spouse will be paying extra attention to what you say. This is to gauge how you truly feel about your relationship now that you’ve had time apart.
Be wary if you or your spouse start judging and placing blame on each other. This can quickly make reconciliation not possible. Take that extra second to think about what you want to say and how you’ll say it to avoid miscommunication.
Understand your spouse’s viewpoint
During your separation, you had plenty of time to reflect on your relationship. However, odds are you were considering most things from your perspective. Post-separation reconciling will require you to also start seeing things from your spouse’s viewpoint.
It’s important to try and place yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Try and see how they might feel in those upsetting situations. Being able to do this is a quick way to see what things you’ll have to work on to make the relationship work.
Keep your connection
Changes you start to make after separation might affect your relationship in ways you may not expect. Even if you still feel like “you”, your spouse might notice some differences in your behavior. While it’s good to make the positive changes to help your relationship, make sure you don’t leave your spouse behind.
Continue to include them in your life and find activities to do with them. If you focus too much on yourself, your spouse might think you don’t want to fix the relationship too. Make sure they know what’s going on with you so they know you’re working on fixing your relationship as well as improving personally.
Hard work, but worth it
Post-separation reconciling can be a hard process. However, it’s worth it to see how you and your spouse might improve your relationship. It’ll require a good amount of effort and planning, but if you’re both committed, you can see impressive results.
