Your marriage might be a little rocky right now. And because of that, you might be considering an affair. You’ve fantasized for a while now; maybe you even have a flirty little thing going on with a friend or co-worker, and now you want to make a move. Before you do, if you haven’t already, you might want to consider the reality of an affair, versus the fantasy in your head. Such as the, what’s next, ‘where do we go from here’, and having to tell your spouse. You may very well be lusting over someone new. But, it’s important to think critically about what you’re giving up before you dive in head first…
Considering an Affair: Reality versus Fantasy and Telling your Spouse
You might have thought about this, fantasized about it for a while now. However, it’s worth thinking through. An affair is usually a gut decision, or a quick lapse in judgement. But, if you’re considering it— you have time to fully do so. What will this mean for your marriage? Do you want to make it work with your spouse, regardless of things being rocky? Do you have children? What will become of that after you’re labeled an adulterer?
These questions might sound harsh, however, they deserve full consideration if you’re giving yourself time. You might not be thinking this far into it. But, many affairs are not just a ‘one time thing’. Rather, they start that way and progress.
One moment of glory, for months or years of mess
When it comes down to it, you’ll eventually have to tell your spouse. Whether it be because you want a separation, they find out, you fall in love, or someone gets pregnant. Ultimately, anything can happen. And, in turn, you will eventually have to share the news. From there, you might see your life flash in front of you. Your home, kids, and wife will begin to shift before your eyes. Especially depending on how your spouse goes about it with the children. What changes? And, how quickly? At the end of the day, you might be left with little to nothing, and only yourself to blame.
What about the person you cheated with?
Sex rarely comes without any strings attached. You might have been flirting for a while, you might even be co-workers. Now, you’ve had an affair, your marriage is in shambles, and what becomes of this other person? They, or maybe you, might have developed feelings and now, you’re left to deal with that as well. An affair doesn’t just end the second you sleep together, then decide it’s a one time thing. Rather, it’s a secret you both carry with you, and eventually, it will make it’s way out.
Those steamy scenes in the movies often skip over the true effects an affair can have
You have a fantasy in your head, and it stems from somewhere. But, it’s important to understand that you likely have not thought through all of the nitty gritty. You have a family, a home, a life… Consider what might become of this before making a move. If you feel unhappy or unsatisfied in your marriage, speak with your spouse. Make them aware. They might not know, or you both might have let it slide after the kids. No matter the scenario, and your choice, consider the end result first and foremost…
