When your marriage is going through a difficult time, and it’s hard to see the bigger picture— many spouses will wander to the idea of an affair. This is not to say that everyone does, or even the majority. However, when it comes to considering an affair, sometimes a spouse will do it. Furthermore, for those who act on their impulse, many do not take the time to consider the difference in fantasy, and reality, of an affair. You have a lot to lose, but that thought can often get lost in a moment of lust. Therefore, we’ve taken some time and constructed a guide to affair realities, versus the fantasy you might be envisioning…
Affair Realities versus Fantasy: Making the Right Choice
The first thing you need to understand, is that with every affair— you’re jeopardizing your marriage. While it might seem like a one-off, ‘get it out of your system’, type of thing— affair realities and aftermath are messy. Not to mention, they typically end in divorce. Maybe you’re angry at your spouse, you’ve been going through a difficult time, and now, you’re finding comfort in the arms of a stranger. At the time, you might feel good, instant gratification. However, in the long run, you’ll always run into the ‘how do I tell my spouse?’ ‘Can I save my marriage?’ ‘Can my spouse ever forgive me?’ Often, these feelings appear quite quickly after the initial incident. Although, the experience is different for everyone.
Your spouse now has a decision on their hands…
No matter how long you wait to tell your spouse, the feelings will be fresh— and conflicting. On one hand, they likely still care deeply about you. However, when it comes to affair realities, infidelity is often an unforgivable offense. In their mind, they’re likely experiencing a range of emotions. From anger, to sadness, fear, shame, and confusion. While your marriage might not have been in the best place recently, they likely did not assume it had reached the point of no return.
An affair doesn’t end when you quit being intimate
Many people choose to cheat with someone mildly familiar to them. Maybe you’ve always thought twice about a coworker, a close friend, or even an ex. So, a moment of weakness arises, and you find yourself entertaining the idea. Or, simply acting on it. While you might know that you have made a mistake, and won’t do it again. But, in many situations, you will still be confronted with that person on a semi-regular basis. Therefore, you’re facing those affair realities over and over again.
If all else fails, consider your family or children
If these affair realities don’t quite make the decision for you, consider the other people around you. While your spouse isn’t your place of comfort, or a deciding factor, for you right now— that doesn’t always have to be the case. Consider the people around you who consider you to be a good person, and a family member. Furthermore, consider the ones who call you ‘Mom/Dad’. You have a lot to lose, and the aftermath never looks like you think it might. Therefore, if you’re considering an affair— consider what that means for the days, months, and years that follow.
