After giving dating a shot, you might find someone you really connect with. You might even have thoughts of remarrying cross your mind. Still, you may worry that things will end up like last time. Therefore, it helps to take some steps to avoid that from happening…
Remarrying: Making It Work
Process your baggage
Remarrying relies on you being able to process your baggage. A divorce is going to leave you with some emotional baggage, no matter how smooth it was. This baggage can make you fearful about a new marriage, and have a serious impact if you do decide to give it a shot.
As a result, you have to try and understand your baggage. Really reflect on what happened in your last marriage, and what impact it’s had on you. Once you can recognize your baggage, then you can process it and start to let it go for good.
Check your expectations
Remarrying successfully also means checking your expectations. After a divorce, you might end up with your expectations set very high, to avoid a repeat of your last relationship. On the other hand, you might also set them very low, because you feel like you don’t deserve anything good.
Ultimately, your expectations need to be realistic. Setting them too high will make it impossible for your partner to fulfill them. If they’re too low, then you might end up in another bad marriage. If you keep them realistic, it’s a lot easier to make a new marriage work.
Try to be vulnerable
Vulnerability and openness are very important for remarrying. It’s understandable that you’d be a bit more withdrawn after divorcing. Being vulnerable back then made it easier to get hurt by everything that happened. Due to this, you may not want to run the risk of that happening again.
However, vulnerability is key for any relationship. You both have to be willing to be open in order to improve your bond. It’s helpful to take small steps towards this goal at first. Start with minor things like scheduling, and then build up to more serious matters like finances.
