Being a divorced parent is difficult business. After separation, there’s a lot more work that goes into every single day— for each parent. From alternating weekends, holidays, pick ups, rules… There’s no denying that divorce complicates a lot of little things. However, you can still be great parents after a separation. Ultimately, it comes down to putting your children first, and avoiding a few common mistakes divorced parents make when it comes to their kids. So, we’re going to lay it out there for you. As we continue to mention, being a divorced parent is no small feat, and every single one of us has likely done one of these things a time or two. However, it’s recognizing the issue, and correcting it, that makes you a rockstar co-parent.
Common Mistakes Divorced Parents Make: Being a Great Co-Parent
1: Venting to your kids
As your kids mature, it becomes much easier to talk to them about serious things. Not to mention, as a single parent, it can be easy to treat your teenage children as a friend more than a child. Therefore, you might find yourself sharing stories, feelings, and so forth with your child. It’s important that you avoid these common mistakes when it comes to painful times within your marriage, and feelings towards their other parent. While it seems harmless in the moment, these conversations can have a damaging effect on your child’s view of their other parent.
2: Asking unnecessary questions
Don’t use those first two hours you have with your child to ask questions about Mom/Dad. As a co-parent, you have to have a lot of trust from one household to another. This comes in many different forms, but one of them is not ‘spying’ in any way. Don’t ask your kid if Mom drinks, or if Dad is seeing anyone, or if Mom allows them to avoid homework until after dinner. If you have questions, or concerns— take them directly to the other parent. You certainly need to face these issues from time to time. However, there are appropriate ways to go about it while avoiding these common mistakes.
3: Overcompensating
Shortly after a divorce, you might feel pretty bad for your kiddos. They’ve been through a difficult time, and it’s not uncommon that you’ll want to make up for it in some form or fashion. Amongst common mistakes divorced parents make after a divorce, overcompensating is a pretty common one. You feel bad, and putting a brand new iPhone XS-sized Bandaid on it might feel appropriate. However, normalcy is the best gift you can give to your kids. Their biggest wish is likely for things to go back to the way that they were. While you can’t make that happen completely, you can march on with your parenting style.
