If you’re contemplating, or beginning the process of, a divorce— it can be difficult and scary to consider the outcome. Having anxieties over this process is completely normal. After all, what you’re going through is life-altering for everyone involved. Having divorce fears, and especially the few we’ll discuss, is part of the process for most everyone…
Divorce Fears: Common Separation Distress
“What If I’m Making a Mistake”
One of the most common divorce fears is the thought that you might be making a mistake. What if you can still work things out? What if it’s just a rough patch? Maybe your spouse can still change? In fact, these thoughts keep many people stuck in an unhappy marriage for years.
But it’s important to realize why you want out. Is this just a rough patch, or have you been going through it for far too long? Has you partner expressed any desire to work through things and seek help? In most cases, by the time you think about divorce, you’ve already given everything else a chance. When you get the feeling that there’s nothing left but divorce, it’s likely that there isn’t.
“What If My Kids Hate Me For It”
For most parents considering a break up, divorce fears will center around what is going to do to their children. While divorce can be difficult for your children, watching an unhappy, unhealthy marriage is arguably more damaging. Children need to see you love your spouse, and yourself. As we’ve said, divorce can be difficult on your children for a period. However, it’s easier to work on your relationship with your kids when you’re happy with yourself. After all, at least you can speak honestly with them about your reasoning as you work on your relationship.
“What If I Never Find Someone Else”
The fear of being along is one of the most powerful divorce fears. As people, we like togetherness and we thrive on the security of a relationship. Therefore, it’s totally normal to worry that you’ll never find someone else. However, you want to ask yourself if having your spouse is really better than being alone. In some cases, we can become so fearful of being alone that we don’t realize our present company is misery.
Divorce is difficult, and it brings about a lot of change. You’re not alone in being frightened of all the changes, and there are plenty of people to help you make your way through it.
