When it comes to infidelity within a marriage, most instances occur due to a lapse in judgement. Maybe your marriage has recently been through a trying time and things haven’t been quite right. Or, maybe you’ve been bored. No matter the reason, for most, the magic of an affair wears off quickly and you’re left to decide where to go from here. No matter if the situation was emotional, physical, or both, ending affairs can be difficult. After all, if you disregard the circumstances, it’s still a break up. But, you’ve decided that your family and spouse are more important, which is a great move to make. So, before coming clean to your spouse, you have to end your affair. But… how?
Ending Affairs: Breaking Up and Coming Clean
Make the decision
When you’re ending affairs, the first step (quite obviously) is to make the conscious decision to call it quits. Your affair, no matter how long or brief, held a certain space in your mind and heart. Therefore, deciding to end it can be a difficult, but necessary decision. So, after you’ve made up your mind, you have to stick with it, and begin the conversation.
Talking to your affair partner
While it might feel like you don’t have to explain this decision to them— you do. While this was an affair from the start, and they were likely aware, they still formed an attachment to you, and your company. It’s important that you handle this situation with as much care as a traditional break-up. You’ll want to express that it was wrong to become involved with someone while married, but refrain from placing the blame on them. Make it clear that they are not at-fault, you’re sorry, and you have to prioritize your marriage. While this might seem easier on paper, it’s a necessary step.
Don’t let the lines blur
As we’ve said, being sensitive to your affair partner’s feelings, you need to make your intentions clear. In short, make it clear that you will have no further connection to one another. At this point in time, you need to focus on your spouse, healing your relationship, and finding trust once again. You cannot do this with your spouse, or help them to heal, when you’re still receiving messages or calls from your ex-lover.
You’ve made a mistake, and coming back won’t be easy
The thing to remember is this: you’ve put yourself into a situation that will require a lot of work in the aftermath. You’re essentially going through a breakup, and a tough time in a marriage, at the exact same time. There is no exact formula anyone can give you to deal with the scenario other than to be patient, kind, and give your spouse the answers they need. Ending affairs, and healing your marriage afterwards, is no simple feat— and can be impossible for some. However, not for all. We wish you luck in ending your affair, healing your marriage, and moving on.
