For the most part, going back to school is tough for kids. While they’re probably happy to see their friends, they don’t look forward to class, homework, or waking up extra early. So returning to school can be difficult for any child, but doing so after divorce can be extra hard. With so many changes going on in their life, children of recent divorce may have an exceptionally hard time with the back to school transition.
School Transition: Ways to Make It Better For Kids of Divorce
Talk As A Family
Yes, you and your ex are no longer together. But you still share a child and it’s important that they see you operate together for their benefit. So sit down and talk as a family. Speak openly about the custody agreement and let your child know what weeks they will spend where. Then, discuss house rules in each place and the expectations you have for the school year. For instance, you may want to talk about bedtime or if they can watch TV before doing their homework, etc. By speaking openly with your child, they can know what to expect. Which in turn can make them feel more settled about the back to school transition.
Establish Routines
One of the best ways for easing the back to school transition in divorced children is establishing routines. Kids need stability and when they don’t have it, they can become stressed and begin acting out. Without the right routine, you may notice behavioral and performance changes in your child. So it’s important to begin routines early. After talking as a family, put together a routine of weekly activities, homework and leisure time, as well as bed time. Then, work hard to stick to it as much as possible. Try to stay as closely to the scheduled visits, custody agreement, bedtimes, etc. as you can. That way, your child can feel a sense of security and stability, even after divorce.
Split the School Supplies
In some cases, the back to school transition can be tough on parents too. After a divorce, money may be tight and going back to school shopping just stretches the budget. So you and your ex should split the back to school cost. Not only does this help the wallet, but it can also be a good time for you and your child to bond after the divorce. Spend some one-on-one time looking for new shoes and notebooks together.
In short, the back to school transition can be extra hard for kids of divorce. As a parent, it’s good to understand this may be a stressful time for your child. Be lenient and forgiving, realizing they are under stress, but establish routines that can help create stability.
