When it comes to getting a divorce, there’s no perfect way to go about it. We all, for the most part, hope it can be civil. We hope that it can be as painless as possible, and especially if you’re parents, you hope to be cordial by the end of this. So, how do you make for the best divorce possible? Well, you can take a few extra steps, and a bit more consideration, and you’ll be as stress-free as any divorcee can be…
How Do We Create the Best Divorce Possible?
Allow your relationship to change
After facing a divorce, your relationship with your spouse will change. After all, that’s the point right? But, for some time during and after, you and your spouse will still have to collaborate. Between splitting finances, selling a home, or custody dealings, you and your ex-spouse will still be in each other’s lives for a bit. So, it’s time to change the relationship a bit. Set your boundaries, decide what is on and off the table when it comes to talking to each other. Let things flow, don’t fall into your same patterns together. Instead, use this as part of your fresh start together, and as a means of healing. The worst of it is over; the least you can do is work together to reach an amicable end. 
Don’t expect, or push for, a friendship too quickly
Part of creating the best divorce possible, is letting things fall into place. Maybe you and your ex-spouse can be friends someday, or maybe that’s completely off the table. Either way— not a big deal. However, don’t try and overcompensate for the tough times by pushing a friendship. You each need time to heal, to grow and change, and to move on. In short, emotions are still very raw and everything is changing quickly. So you want to give yourself time to accept and adjust to things. Allow yourself to work through some of the emotions of losing your partner before gaining them as a friend.
Agree to disagree from time to time… healthfully
Disagreeing is inevitable, especially in your situation. So, just learn how to do so respectfully. At this point in time, you’re likely collaborating to dissolve your marital debts and assets, so treat it like a business relationship if you must. Keep the emotion as far out of it as possible, and learn how to disagree healthfully. You never know, your ‘stupid ex’ might just have the perfect idea to bring in the cash for your home. Be open, swallow the poison, and make the most of this time. After all, being angry about it isn’t going to make the problem go away.
Always write it down
No matter how much you trust your ex, you still want to get everything they say in writing. During the time of your divorce, it’s easy to mix things up. Times, dates, paperwork, important documents, financial statements… It can all be a lot of to keep up with. Every now and then, something might slip yours, or your ex’s, mind. So, instead of taking a mental note, write it all down. You might think it’s something you’ll never forget, but divorce brain is about as bad as pregnancy brain from time to time. Avoid confusion by making a note.
Remember that this isn’t supposed to be easy
No one envisions a divorce when they say ‘yes’ to their future spouse, and if that time comes, it can be easy to really get down on yourself. But, a divorce is sometimes part of the human experience. It’s not fun, it’s gritty, and sometimes, we feel like a failure. But, you’re not. You’re just human, and your marriage— like many others, didn’t pan out in the way you thought it would.
Instead of being furious, or full of anger, consider that this is ultimately better for you and your spouse both. What’s worse? A loveless, empty marriage? Or, starting over? Ultimately, the answer to that question might be different for you, me, and your neighbor. However, there’s no shame in deciding that a marriage isn’t what you thought it would be. Now, it’s just time to dissolve the union and create the best divorce possible. And if you need our help to do that? We have your back…
