When it comes to a divorce, the process can be difficult on everyone. But, it’s often especially hard on kids. Because they’re young, kids often have a hard time processing and expressing the emotions they feel. For this reason, you may want to pay close attention to their behavior instead. Every kid is different, and their reactions custom to that. So, watch for these things, but also general changes in behavior. And when in doubt, start a conversation. You, better than anyone, know your children and their unusual behaviors.
Unusual Behaviors in Children of Divorce: What to Watch for
Drastic changes in weight/diet
As unusual behaviors go, this is one of the more obvious. You should watch out for a drastic change in your child’s diet. For instance, it’s okay to go through normal changes in appetite. As kids grow, and hit growth spurts, they may begin eating more. Then, after a while, they will likely,ely revert back to old habits.
However, if you notice a striking and sudden change that doesn’t revert, it could be a sign of struggle. When children are suffering from stress, their appetite is often the first thing to change. For some kids, it may cause a decrease in their appetite. But for others, you may see them eating a lot more. In either case, if you notice a big change in appetite or weight, it could mean your child is under a lot of stress. It’s important that you be sensitive in discussing these things, address more of a concern than saying something negative. When it comes to eating and weight, anyone can be touchy.
Complains of Lots of Aches
One of the most common divorce behaviors is sudden complaints of aches or sickness. In many cases, kids will begin complaining of headaches and stomach aches, and they may ask to stay home from school. While they aren’t suffering from an actual sickness, they are still feeling their pain. In many cases, this is the way the stress of the divorce will show itself in your child. It could be the body’s way of dealing with the stress of grief of your divorce. Therefore, be sensitive to it. Don’t brush it off because it feels imaginary to you. Your child needs empathy right now, and there’s no shame in showing it every now and then.
Sudden Outbursts
Another aspect of unusual divorce-related behaviors, is to watch out for sudden outbursts or tantrums. In the event that your child suddenly begins having serious mood swings, understand that this is normal for many children. In many cases, the child cannot regulate or process all of their emotions. So instead, it comes out in other ways when you least expect it.
Refusing to See Their Other Parent
Lastly, when looking for divorce behaviors, watch how your child responds to their other parent. For instance, if the child begins not wanting to go visit the other parent, or if it seems to be placing stress on your child, instead of being enjoyable. Children process divorce in a number of ways, and one means of making sense of it— can be placing blame in the wrong places. Regardless of how you feel about your ex, do not condone this behavior. You want your divorce to negatively affect your child’s relationship with the other parent as little as possible.
Keep an open line of communication, especially when it comes to the other parent. Don’t let, or encourage, your child to alienate the other parent because it feels like a good revenge to you. Unusual behaviors in children of divorce can vary quite greatly, but it’s up to your to acknowledge them and help your child heal.
