Doing the shared custody shuffle can be difficult. But arguably one of the most difficult parts about it, is when there’s an inconsistency in rules. Keeping consistent rules across the board, from Mom, to Dad, to Grandma’s house (if you’re lucky), is essential. It may take time, and collaboration. But in the end, keeping consistent rules will help keep the peace between you, your co-parent, and your little ones. Believe me, it’s worth the effort.
Keeping Consistent Rules: Co-Parenting 101
Why is it important?
How many times have you heard the phrase: “well, Mom/Dad let me…” come out of their sassy little mouths? The answer, you probably couldn’t count on your fingers and toes. One way to eradicate that, is to serve up a united front from one home to the other. After the initial shock and frustration of separating parents, many kids will start to learn how to play the field between their parents. In turn, they might start to master the art of getting what they want, when they want. However, as parents, it’s our job to make sure they don’t have that… at least not all the time.
While you maintain rules, allow room for each of you to parent in your own way
Those rules and consistency is important, but so is having two separate parents. You are both valuable pieces to the puzzle, so that means being your now kind of parent. Keep the regimens the same, and the same no-go areas. But, create you own little traditions and variability.
What kind of things should we keep consistent guidelines on?
The kinds of things that should be mutual, should be things such as: bed time, restricted shows and movies, eating habits, curfew… these kinds of things— the guidelines. But allow for the lifestyle to play it’s part too. Such as, what time homework gets done. Maybe Mom and your kid go to the park after school every day. So, homework gets done while she cooks dinner. But, maybe Dad and kid go place basketball after the sun sets during the week— so homework happens as soon as they get home. As long as the homework gets done, all is well.
Keeping consistent rules shows your kids that you can still collaborate for them
Co-parenting is hard work. But, if you’re able to successfully master the art— you and your kids will get along much more smoothly. Your child is the main priority, and if you can look at it as you, and their other parent, trying to reach a common goal— it becomes much easier to handle. Not to mention, you are teaching your children how to problem solve and collaborate even in difficult times.
