Deciding what route to take when it comes to custody arrangements can be tough. There are plenty of different options, especially when it comes to choosing primary custody. Maybe neither of you want to give that up, so, maybe you should consider a birds nest custody agreement. This might be a foreign concept to you, might feel unlikely, or maybe you’ve just never heard of it before. So, we’re going to explain it to you. Maybe, it’s just the solution you’ve been looking for…
Birds Nest Custody Agreement: A Solution to the Shared Custody Shuffle
What exactly is birds nest custody?
A birds nest custody agreement is kind of exactly how you’d picture it. One nest, two parents, and the kid never leaves. It’s pretty much exactly like that. In this scenario, you each have your own home, and then a mutual home. The child stays in the mutual home, and the two of you work your way in and out depending on who’s turn it is. There are plenty of pro’s and con’s to this. But, it definitely is one solution to the toughest part of shared custody, which is shuffling your child back and forth.
What are the pro’s?
There’s plenty! For one, as mentioned above, you skip the shuffling. The going back and forth is pretty tough on your kids, especially depending on where you two live in reference to each other. So, by having a mutual home, you skip that bit. Instead of a kid going back and forth from your two houses, you stay in theirs (essentially). Taking this route can make communication much easier. Share a mutual calendar on the fridge, take turns stocking the groceries, doing the work, and staying with your child. By taking this route, there’s no shuffling, no “I left my toothbrush at Mom’s”. Just one home, for your kid, and you take turns.
What are the con’s?
You have to be great at co-parenting with your ex to pull this off. You have to want to be an active part of this agreement, and sometimes, exes just don’t operate that way. Not to mention, this is a pretty expensive route to take. You’re both essentially maintaining a home and a half, plus a child, and maybe even a relationship. Which brings me to another tough part: what about when you find someone to spend your time with? Having a relationship, when you move back and forth between two homes, can be difficult at first. You’re still figuring each other out, and you’re still very involved with your ex. This might be a difficult adjustment.
When it comes down to it, something different works for everybody
No two agreements are exactly the same, and what works for you— might be unimaginable for someone else. So, consider the pro’s and con’s of any potential agreement. Any agreement is worth at least considering!
